SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC v. NEW YORK RB

Greetings to my brothers and sisters in Green. The New York Red Donkeys, “HEE-HAW!” their way to The Evergreen as a living, breathing example of what complete corporate capture of sport looks like. I’m certain that energy drinks were complimentary on their flight in.

What: MLS league match, Seattle Sounders FC v. New York RB.

Where: Royal Brougham Park, Occidental Avenue, Seattle, Washington.

When: 5:30 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time, Saturday 5 August 2026 CE.

At Stake: Points in the league for a last-gasp attempt at winning a trophy this season. I mean a trophy other than the Heritage Cup for besting San Jose in both meetings this season. I wonder how many Sounders fans or supporters outside of ECS could even tell you what Heritage Cup is. I digress. Right. Back to football. Sounders are currently 19th in the MLS league table, moving up from, what was it, 21st last week?, on 26 points, 27 points adrift of leaders Nashville. In terms of regional qualification for MLS Cup, we are three points adrift of Minnesota, who currently hold the ninth and last berth. With arch-rival Portland (+2 points) and Minnesota (+3 points), both ahead of us in the regional table and playing each other, nothing good is likely to happen for us at Morrison Street. If the Salt Lake (v.LAFC) drop points, that’s a good thing, as they are two points ahead of us as well.

Where to Watch: Apple TV. Play-by-Play from Mark Rogondino and Colour Commentary by Heath Pearce. I’ll try the KJR simulcast meself. Although last week, Apple fucked it up world-class-like and had a simulcast of a university American football match on the KJR FM channel, not realising that the Sounders simulcast was on KJR’s AM channel. Oh, Apple. It was football for sure then, just not the football ye promised yeh? Also whilst yous are working on fixing that problem, maybe switch Lake Ontario back to its proper name on Apple Maps (it mistakenly says “Lake America” if you zoom in close enough) and stop being Fascist bootlickers. It’s embarrassing.

Where to Listen: KJR 950 AM and El Rey 1360 AM.

My vendetta with a certain energy drink corporation is well-known within my circle of friends and acquaintances. For those new to the story, the condensed version goes something like this: Lad grows up about 90 miles east of New York City in a hick town with not much to recommend it except for a kick-ass Polish Town.

The NASL had folded, with the club nearest to us (yes, yes, yes, fuck’s sake, I know you lot hated the Cosmos!) having played their last season when I was in my 9th year of schools. Fast-forward 12 years, and a miracle occurred. The United States’ bid to host the 1994 FIFA World Cup finals was accepted…on the condition that America get its collective shite together and launch a new national football league.

Fast-forward two more years and the MLS and New York/New Jersey MetroStars came into existence. There was all sorts of promise and hope for this new club. We were had Yanks ace midfielder Tab Ramos and Italian superstar Roberto Donadoni, Yanks international goalkeeper Tony Meola, Yanks international midfielder Peter Vermes, and Venezuelan striker Giovanni Savarese. We were gonna run the league, just like old times.

The only problem with this scenario was that this team was absolute shite. Sure, Ramos was Ramos (3 goals/10 assists), Saverese hit 14 goals, Colombian striker Antony de Avila hit 8 goals, Meola was very good between the sticks, but it was only good enough for a 6th place finish in the then 10-team league. MetroStars were eliminated in the first round of MLS Cup by eventual winners DC United, and Tampa Bay Mutiny won the league championship.

Things got worse and worse and worse from there and MetroStars would never win even one domestic trophy. The club couldn’t get their stadium finished in Harrison, New Jersey before it was sold to said, awful Austrian energy drink barons Red Donkey in March of 2006, just two years after I moved to the Pacific Northwest, and the club itself was re-branded, as the same brand as the energy drink. Not just a shirt sponsorship. Re-named after the corporation itself. It was a bridge too far for me.

Some of us have never forgot that betrayal, nor Alexi Lalas’ part in it - watching his smug, glaikit face sucking on their crap-shite taurine and sugar-filled product as he told us how bright the future was going to be now that they had sold out to Red Donkey.

Red Donkey then started purchasing sport clubs throughout Europe, football, ice hockey, auto racing, pro snowboarder Shaun White’s bollocks, whatever - they were building a sporting empire funded by and named after a bloody product, blotting out the history of clubs and over-writing them with their shite logo. No one ever called Juventus ‘FIAT Torino’, that’s all I’m sayin’.

So, you’re all there now, sitting slack-jawed wondering why the fuck would any of you care about any of that and how at all is it relevant to Saturday’s match, the Sounders FC, and the city of Seattle. Here’s the short answer: Although I’ve the better part of 14 years here in the PNW now, those years were split by nearly a decade in the Bay Area in California. It was there, when I went to view a Manchester United match at Danny Coyle’s pub in the Haight-Ashbury, I ran into a tiny group of football supporters who were having a good old time. We asked if we could join them, and they were chuffed to accept us. I later found out that group were representing Fog City Faithful. We joined and since then we’ve never looked back. Brian, Siobhan, Ciaran, and Daniel treated us like fam at Coyle’s. We represented Seattle hard out there in the Bay, and I’m honest enough to admit that sometimes I miss those times.

So in the final reckoning, few things make me happier than watching the Sounders kick the shite out of these at every opportunity and flip the “V” in the opposition’s general direction for good measure. All of which brings us to the present, and thank you for your indulgence regarding the history lesson that likely none of you ever wanted.

I’m fired up for this one, and I hope you lot are as well. Corporate interlopers must be prevented from perverting sport, and history itself. So let’s round up the Faithful and get to the ground, or at the very least, gather ‘round the old telly and annoy the nosy neighbours with our shouts and songs of joy in the name of the one, the only, Seattle Sounders Football Club. I can only hope that ECS’ tifo, should they create one, is that of a matador doing his job proper through the arbitrament of the sword. Also…just to set the record straight, it is my firm conviction that bullfighting is a horrible sport and an extreme example of animal cruelty. What can I say? I’m a complicated man.

Get ye to the ground if you have the means and the time. If not it’s pubs and dwellings for stories and tellings, houses and flats for pints and cats, and sometimes boats and ships for pie and chips.

It’s Sounders football under the early evening setting sun through the last bit of twilight at Royal Brougham Park. GO ON YOU SOUNDERS!!! GET IN!!! ENTER THE MATADOR IN HIS SPARKLY JIM-JAMS!!! (as Spanish music swells in the background) HEE-HAW!!!

Before kick-off, please join me in the auld toast: “TO THE SEATTLE SOUNDERS FOOTBALL CLUB…AND VICTORY!!!”

Sounders’ newest newboy, midfielder Caden Clark, is the club’s latest signing. (Photo credit: mlsmultiplex.com)

The Good News

It’s been better lately, and we’re unbeaten in two matches. This is code for: We’re figuring out how to win again, and so far, I think we can all safely say we’ve seen a crack of daylight over the last two matches. Newboy Dejan Joveljic hitting a brace on his debut certainly helped matters in this regard. Will young Calen Clark, only just signed this Thursday from DC United make his debut? Are there more and brighter lights ahead getting ready to bathe us in their straw-coloured, relaxing glow?

In the category of stats that are likely meaningless, Sounders have an all-time record of 6-1-1 against the Red Donkeys at Royal Brougham Park. That’s pretty dominant. Unless, of course, you take into account the last time we played them was 2023 and the turnover/churn of MLS players is absolutely fucking mental. Let’s stick with the first bit as this is supposed to be the bright and sunny section of the article.

Growing pains from the punishing learning curve of MLS notwithstanding, our young players getting their fair share of minutes will begin to pay off now as they are better prepared to spell their teammates should the need arise. There are going to be a couple of ugly stretches at the end of the season, and we’re going to need them. We’re going to need all our Boys in Green to get through it.

Hey! Look whose decided to stop looking like a horse’s arse. Looks like American MLS clubs will all fully participate in US Open Cup next season. Don’t bother to thank this lot for finally fixing something that never should’ve been broken in the first place.

Red Donkey’s defence is fairly crap. They’re tied for 18th and have conceded 50 goals in all competitions (2.08 goals conceded/match). Should we be able to play textbook Sounders football, commonly seen as nick one or two goals and then give up next to nothing, we could be witnessing our first league victory since May.

The Bad News

We still struggle to score goals. The arrival of Joveljic helps with this somewhat, but we’re going to have to do better than 1.29 goals/match if we want to scratch and claw our way back into the MLS Cup qualifying berths. With Morris’ return to fitness, and seeing him (hopefully) deployed at right-forward, and maybe Rothrock scoring his first league goal since July (don’t get me wrong, I know Paulie Primetime has assisted on goals since then), maybe we can begin to right the ship.

Red Donkeys have a lot of very young and extremely hungry players. They are skilful, quick, and attempting to cement their futures with their club…or maybe are auditioning to move overseas. They are scrapping to hold on to their MLS Cup berth which they are currently holding onto by a thread. They will be highly motivated to take the points, should they be up for it.

The danger men for the Red Donkeys are as follows: Hall (9 goals, 5 assists), the 18 year-old who has clearly only just gotten his learner’s permit to drive, can beat you just as easily by bashing a goal in as setting up a mate for another. Ruvalcaba, formerly of UNAM Pumas, an American-born striker cap-tied to Mexico, can certainly score goals (7 goals). You say to yourselves, “Is that it? How bad could it be?” And yet, I’m not finished. Forsberg (3 goals, 7 assists) is a skilful and veteran presence having won four trophies in Sweden and three trophies in Germany. Cowell (2 goals, 7 assists), on loan from the Chivas of Guadalajara, will make our lives as miserable as he can, as the 22-year-old used to do at the Coleman Avenue ground in San Jose. Donkor (1 goal, 6 assists) the Ghanian midfielder, is proving quite useful at the tender age of 21 years. And Mehmeti (1 goal, 5 assists), only just on solid food at the age of 17, has played well enough to be selected in the team 21 times in 21 matches. An impressive feat for one so young.

Between the sticks the Red Donkeys have Horvath, the only American goalkeeper I know of (research to confirm pending) that has won two English Football League Championship promotion play-offs. Horvath has 10 caps for the Yanks, and has played at Molde, Club Brugge, Nottingham Forest, Luton Town, Cardiff City, and Sheffield Wednesday, winning eight trophies in club football and twice winning CONCACAF Nations League with the Yanks. This will not be an easy match. This lot look like a double handful.

Why do the Sounders front office still partner with a certain coffee chain who are known union-busters, labour scofflaws, and are generally an example of grotesque behaviour? Why don’t they crap out another rainbow sweat-band give-away the fucking cock-face, sports-washing bastards. It’s a bad look, Adrian. Figure it oot!

The Side I Would Select

The Red Donkeys have a lot of very young players. Their youngers play a lot of minutes. That generally means quick, scrappy, unrelenting players with a tonne of shit to prove to management. I would organise the selection in such a way as to neutralise the Red Donkey’s youth, pace, skill, and resolve. If we play all our veterans, it’s might end up looking like they’re standing still off the ball. So we should go young at the back, use Alex and Cristian as the 8 and the 6 with Alex attacking when the opportunity comes and Cristian holding no matter what, Gomez at the 10 for pace, skill, and general trickery, with Morris on the right and newboy Joveljic at centre-forward.

GK     Thomas

LB     Nouhou

LCH     Hawkins

RCH    Lopez

RB     Kossa-Rienzi

LDM    Alex

RDM   Cristian

LF     Rothrock

CAM   Gomez

RF     Morris

CF     Joveljic

The Side I Think The Gaffer Will Select

The Gaffer is gonna Gaffer. It was a good team that lined up against the Chicago on Saturday last. Good enough for a draw when we desperately needed a result. With favoured veterans returned to fitness, I’d expect Morris, Cristian, and Dotson in the team, and Alex returning to right-back where he is most often deployed.

GK     Thomas

LB     Nouhou

LCH    Hawkins

RCH    Kim

RB     Alex

LDM    Dotson

RDM   Cristian

LF     Rothrock

CAM   Rusnak

RF     Morris

CF     Joveljic

Intangibles

The Referee for Saturday’s match will be Ricardo Fierro.

SEA record with Fierro as Ref: 1-0-3

NYRB record with Fierro as Ref: 2-0-0

Sounders 2026 transfer fees paid: €5.2M

Red Donkeys 2026 transfer fees paid: €6.42M

Sounders aggregate squad estimated transfer value: €50.83M

Red Donkeys aggregate squad estimated transfer value: €45.05M

General notes on personnel

Sounders FC transfers IN:

Caden Clark (DC United) SEA 2nd round pick + €43,000 if Clark remains on our roster next season.

Sounders FC transfers OUT:

De Rosario (Sonderjyske) loan

New York RB transfers IN:

Che (Brondby) €850,000

Cowell (Guadalajara) loan

Benedetti (Estudiantes de la Plata) undisclosed

Voloder (Sporting Kansas City) free

Horvath (Cardiff City) free

Ruvalcaba (UNAM Pumas) €5.5M

Marshall-Rutty (CF Montreal) free

Bungi (RB Leipzig) loan

Dos Santos - reserves

Bazan (Deportivo Pereira) undisclosed

Jimenez (Plaza Amador) undisclosed

Ruiz (Inter Miami CF) loan €65,000 fee

Padelford (Minnesota United FC) loan

New York RB transfers OUT:

Coronel (Sao Paulo) free

Duncan (Minnesota United FC) free

Ofori (Cavalry FC) free

Stroud (Minnesota United FC) €403,000

Morgan (San Diego FC) €383,000

Nealis (DC United) €300,000

Hack (FC Zurich) free

Edelman (St. Louis City SC) €600,000

Morales (U de Chile) loan

Eile (Bristol City) €4M

Carmona (CF Montreal) free

Bogacz (KS Cracovia) loan

Edwards (Toronto FC) free

Ngoma (Birmingham Legion FC) loan

Berggren (Lech Poznan) €500,000

Gjengaar (Valerenga) free

Mitchell (Viborg) loan

Comparison against common opponents

SEA 2:1 DAL

NYRB 0:2 DAL

(against DAL: SEA 1-0-0 +1, NYRB 0-0-1 -2) decisive edge SEA

SKC 1:1 SEA

SKC 1:2 NYRB

(against SKC: SEA 0-1-0 0, NYRB 1-0-0 +1) edge NYRB

PHI 1:0 SEA

PHI 3:1 NYRB

NYRB 1:3 PHI

(against PHI: SEA 0-0-1 -1, NYRB 0-0-2 -4) edge SEA

CIN 1:1 SEA

NYRB 4:2 CIN

CIN 2:0 NYRB

(against CIN: SEA 0-1-0 0, NYRB 1-0-1 0) marginal edge NYRB

SEA 2:2 CHI

CHI 1:3 NYRB

NYRB 1:1 CHI

(against CHI: SEA 0-1-0 0, NYRB 1-1-0 +2) decisive edge NYRB

Know Thine Enemy

The Red Donkeys, as they lined up in their 1:3 defeat to the Philadelphia at Harrison on 29 August.

GOALKEEPER

Ethan Horvath, 31

United States (10/0)

Notable Clubs: Molde (39/0), Club Brugge (51/0), Nottingham Forest (6/0), Luton Town (44/0), Cardiff City (33/0), Sheffield Wednesday (14/0), New York RB (22/0)

Estimated Transfer Value: €1M

Notes: Developed by Real Colorado. Won a Norwegian Premier League title and Norwegian Cup with Molde. Won 3x Belgian Pro League and a Belgian Super Cup with Club Brugge. Won an English Football League Championship promotion play-off with Nottingham Forest. Won an English Football League Championship promotion play-off with Luton Town. Won 2x CONCACAF Nations League with United States.

DEFENCE

Matthew Dos Santos, 18

United States

Notable Clubs: New York RB (21/0)

Estimated Transfer Value: €2.5M

Notes: Developed by New York RB.

Julian Bazan, 20

Colombia

Notable Clubs: Deportivo Pereira (21/0), New York RB (8/0)

Estimated Transfer Value: €600,000

Notes: Developed by Deportivo Pereira. Has played for Colombia (24/0) at youth levels.

Justin Che, 22

United States

Notable Clubs: FC Dallas (15/0), TSG Hoffenheim (2/0), Brondby (1/0), ADO Den Haag (21/0), Patro Eisden (15/0), New York RB (15/0)

Estimated Transfer Value: €800,000

Notes: Developed by FC Dallas.

Dylan Nealis, 28

United States

Notable Clubs: Inter Miami CF (19/0), Nashville SC (4/0), New York RB (114/1)

Estimated Transfer Value: €1.8M

Notes: Developed by Massapequa SC. Played his university football at Georgetown (78/7).

MIDFIELD

Emil Forsberg, 34

Sweden (92/21)

Notable Clubs: GIF Sundsvall (97/24), Malmo (57/19), RB Leipzig (243/48), New York RB (73/23)

Estimated Transfer Value: €1.8M

Notes: Developed by GIF Sundsvall. Won 2x Allsvenskan titles and 2x Swedish Supercup with Malmo. Won 2x DFB Pokal, and a DFL Supercup with RB Leipzig. Named Allsvenskan Midfielder of the Year 2014. 5x named Swedish Midfielder of the Year. Bundesliga top assist provider 2016-17. Named to Bundesliga Team of the Season 2016-17. Won Guldbollen (Swedish Male Footballer of the Year) 2021.

Adri Mehmeti, 17

United States

Notable Clubs: New York RB (21/1)

Estimated Transfer Value: €6M

Notes: Developed by New York RB. Has played for United States (7/1) and Albania (3/1) at youth levels.

Ronald Donkor, 21

Ghana

Notable Clubs: New York RB (61/1)

Estimated Transfer Value: €2M

Notes: Developed by JMG Academy and Guidars FC.

FORWARD

Jorge Ruvalcaba, 25

Mexico (1/0)

Notable Clubs: UNAM Pumas (84/14), New York RB (21/7)

Estimated Transfer Value: €6M

Notes: Full name: Jorge Antonio Ruvalcaba Castro. Developed by Ocelot Academy and UNAM Pumas.

Julian Hall, 18

United States

Notable Clubs: New York RB (60/12)

Estimated Transfer Value: €8M

Notes: Full name: Julian Zakrzewski Hall (I mention this, only because he is listed as Julian Zakrzewski in his squad profile at the Red Donkeys website). Developed by New York RB. Has played for United States (13/5) at youth levels.

Cade Cowell, 22

United States (11/1)

Notable Clubs: San Jose Earthquakes (104/10), Guadalajara (56/8), New York RB (20/2)

Estimated Transfer Value: €3.8M

Notes: Developed by Ballistic United SC and San Jose Earthquakes. Won a CONCACAF U-20 championship. Played for United States (22/7) at youth levels.

Familiar Faces

None.

Squads

Sounders FC from:

Frei, Thomas, Hawkins, Kim, Kossa-Rienzi, Lopez, Nouhou, Alex, Sailor, Brunell, Dotson, Gomez, Kingston, Clark, Cristian, Rusnak, Arriola, Joveljic, Morris, Musovski, Rothrock.

New York RB from:

Marucci, Horvath, McCarthy, Che, Marshall-Rutty, Valencia, Voloder, Nealis, Morales, Bazan, Mina, Parker, Dos Santos, Padelford, Ruiz, Forsberg, Mehmeti, Harper, Gjengaar, Sofo, Benedetti, Donkor, Rojas, Mosquera, Jarvis, Cowell, Bogacz, Ruvalcaba, Choupo-Moting, Hall, Mitchell, Rosborough, Ngoma, Jimenez.

Injury List

(as listed on mlssoccer.com at press time)

Sounders FC -

OUT: Ragen (knee), Ferreira (hamstring), De la Vega (quadriceps), Gomez Andrade (calf), Petkovic (knee).

MATCHDAY DECISION: none.

New York RB -

OUT: none.

MATCHDAY DECISION: none.

Discipline

(as listed on mlssoccer.com at press time)

Sounders FC: No players suspended.

New York RB: No players suspended. Donkor out next match if booked.

Fun Fact

Sounders aggregate squad estimated transfer value: €50.83M

Toluca aggregate squad estimated transfer value: €92.5M

Ajax aggregate squad estimated transfer value: €218.7M

Paris Saint-Germain aggregate squad estimated transfer value: €1.36 Billion

Sounders’ aggregate squad estimated transfer value of €50.83M is slightly lower than West Bromwich Albion (€58.15M 18th highest in the EFLC) and slightly higher than Charlton Athletic (€41.28M 19th highest in the EFLC) in the English Football League Championship (second tier). We would only be second-highest in the English Football League One (third tier) to Leicester City (€71.73M highest in EFL1).

Sounders are 12th highest in MLS in aggregate squad estimated transfer value. We would be 8th highest in the Dutch Eredivisie, 10th highest in Liga MX, and 16th highest (third from bottom) in the French Ligue 1.

I list these statistics to show how we compare to:

Toluca, the Liga MX team that bloodied our noses 3:0 in Leagues Cup this season

Ajax, regularly amongst the top five in the Dutch Eredivisie, always competing for trophies.

Paris St. Germain, 2024-25 French Ligue 1 champions, UEFA Champions League winners, and 2025 FIFA World Club Cup champions.